I was wondering if I can get any critiques on some thumbnails I’ve been working on before I move forward into finished boards. It’s a modified passage from book 1 of the Hook and Jill series by Andrea Jones (an alternate version of Peter Pan).
I like the liveliness of the linework and the fluidity of the motion and camera moves. The personalities are already apparent, such as in Tinkerbell’s body language. I don’t have any major problems following the action.
My suggestion is that you might want to consider linking up establishing shots to closer shots a little more. For example, it might help storyboard #2 for the characters and location to somehow be indicated in storyboard #1, so the viewers know where Hook and the mermaids are relative to other features in the scene. In storyboard #11, you might want to indicate where the island is relative to Hook and where Peter is relative to the mermaids in storyboard #13 (although I realize these are just rough thumbnails).
One minor positioning aspect I might alter is in storyboard #6. If it were me, I would flip storyboard #6 horizontally so that Hook is looking in the same direction that he is in storyboard #5 (from left to right) and also so that Hook’s position is in opposition to Peter’s group flying in from right to left in storyboard #7.
Anyways, those are just a few of my opinions. Feel free to use or discard them as you think wise. I think there’s already a good sense of atmosphere, especially in the tense sequence at storyboard #25 with Hook sweating, Wendy near Hook, the water dripping towards him, and Hook’s viewpoint through the foliage.
Best of luck to you!
Awesome! Thank you so much for your tips and advice! I’ll definitely use them. Also love your website. You are a very accomplished and talented artist. Thanks again and keep in touch! 😀
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